Every couple that is either engaged or married needs couple's counseling. Couples counseling is a therapy session for people who are are open to bettering their relationship. It helps partners address issues that have been affecting their relationship. It also serves as a base for improving communication and connection within the couple.
If you go to couples counseling with your partner when you are not married, chances are you get to understand yourself and your partner more and also plan what the future will look like when you get married. Going to couples counseling when married means you get to develop techniques that will help solve conflict and strengthen the connection.
In couples counseling, partners get to understand their basic but important roles. Also, you get to understand the responsibilities and what is required of you when you are in a committed relationship, how to solve conflict and grow in love is also another thing you get to learn in couple counseling.
The main theme of couple counseling is togetherness. Couples counseling does not only address conflict in relationships or marriage. It can also help couples strengthen their relationship by discovering each other with a great understanding that both partners are different.
When coming for couples counseling, both partners have to agree to be open to each other and also to the therapist. If one partner is not in agreement, then the counseling session will be futile. So, to maximize couples therapy and not waste time and resources, both partners should agree and set goals they want to achieve during therapy sessions.
It is pertinent to remember that opening up during couples counseling is a gradual process, and if you do not feel comfortable with whatever the therapist or your partner is saying, you should speak up calmly and gently, without any malicious motive.
Why Do You and Your Partner Need Couple Counseling?
Coming for couple's counseling keeps your relationship sane and increases the bond between you and your partner. It is quite common that couples who come from counseling have partners who are reluctant to go in the first place. Such partners believe there is nothing wrong with the relationship, connection, or even the marriage as a whole. They also believe that if there is anything wrong, there is no need for a third party, and they as couples can solve the challenge.
Having a couple’s counselor is like having a neutral person who will listen without taking sides or passing judgment; instead, a couple's counselor will help point out the main cause of the challenge and suggest ways to solve it. A couple's counselor also helps prepare the minds of couples for the next phase in their life together.
Nevertheless, here are some reasons why couples should come for counseling:
If both parties always have undissolved conflicts
When one or both partners have anger issues
When there is no trust in the relationship
When there is an issue of drug abuse
Infidelity
Infertility issues like barrenness or impotence
Loss of job
When there is a life transition
Relationship challenges with friends and family
Finance
When one partner is taking up more responsibility
Mental health issues
Differential point of view
For effective couples counseling, couples will need a lot of communication and open-mindedness. This is because when couples are experiencing discomfort in their relationship, they tend not to listen to one another, but a couple’s counselor will help couples listen to each other during a session.
Benefits Of Couples Counseling
Couples counseling helps couples with their well-being and strengthens their communication skills and bond. Here are some benefits of going to couples counseling:
It helps couples understand how relationships in marriage work
It gives couples a neutral listening ear without taking sides
It creates a safe space for couples to be open and talk freely
It helps couples resolve conflicts with peace
It helps increase or improve trust between partners
It helps prevent any future conflict
It improves communication between couples
It provides you with methods that can help your relationship with your partner
It helps solve personal issues
How Couples Can Implement Couples Counseling
The couple’s counselor gives recommendations and tasks that will help resolve their challenges. In most cases, the counselor helps the couples practice these recommendations during sessions. But sometimes it is hard for couples who are left alone to continue such a practice.
Before couples can practice recommendations, they should acknowledge their love and respect for each other. Then they can use the following ways to implement the counselor’s recommendation:
Work together on the task: Couples should work together on every task assigned to them. This will improve their communication skills and strengthen their bond.
Practice trust fall: couples should learn to practice their trust fall at home or when they are alone.
Practice eye contact, especially in public places.
Create fun games that both of you like.
You can both interview yourselves: ask questions and get to know each other some more.
Practicing these ways will help couples reduce their sessions and achieve their goal of togetherness.
Techniques Used in Couples Counseling
There are some techniques that counselors employ during couple counseling. These techniques depend on the issue that is destroying the couple’s relationship. This is why couples need to be open-minded and speak up during couple counseling sessions.
Here are some techniques used by couples’ counselors during a session:
Listening technique: the listening technique has to be active and reflective. Active listening helps resolve conflict within couples. So instead of saying what your partner did that hurts you, all you need to do is say how you feel.
Emotional focus techniques: the emotional focus technique helps change bad habits if used effectively as directed by a professional counselor. Couples get to identify habits or behaviors that are affecting boundaries in the relationship.
Solution-focused technique: it helps couples concentrate on the solution instead of the problem.
The appreciation technique: couples get together to appreciate at least two things their partner has done.
Gottman Technique: The Gottman Technique helps increase married couples' sexual life. It helps couples understand the circumstances of the conflict they are having. It makes each partner empathic with the other.
Conclusion
As said earlier, any couple can go for couples counseling. It is essential even if you are married or just in a relationship. Couples should be open-minded when coming for sessions. Couples should also be very communicative with the counselor so they can manage their challenges.