Explore the different things you can do if you have a partner that is unwilling to attend couples therapy with you.
Your marriage is slowly crumbling, your spouse barely talks to you, and when they do it usually resorts to an argument. But deep down, you want to fight for your marriage, you want the love that once existed and bonded with you to be rekindled, and you want to stay true to your vows. But in an attempt to rebuild intimacy and pinpoint where the problem is, you suggest couples counseling, but the idea was shut down.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
If your spouse won't go to couple’s counseling, here are some of the things you can do:
Find out why they don’t want to go.
It is important to find out why your partner isn’t interested in going to therapy. Do they think it is too expensive and will put a strain on their finances or they don’t believe in therapy and think it is just a wait of time and money? Your partner might also not be interested because they are not comfortable telling a stranger their problems or they are afraid to express their feelings and that the therapist might take sides.
Advertise counseling to them in a positive and enticing way.
After you’ve understood why they do not want therapy, highlight the benefits of therapy especially if they are interested in learning how to be better too. Keep reassuring them that there is nothing to be scared of and that they are doing the right thing. Make your partner understand how attending therapy can help to pinpoint the reason why the relationship or marriage isn't working and things to explore to bring about positive change in the relationship.
Attend couple counseling alone
I know this might not be what you are hoping for, but you really can attend couples counseling alone. Receiving counseling alone and working on yourself can also have a positive effect on your relationship. By attending therapy alone, you can have a safe outlet to cope with the stress or frustration you might be getting from the relationship. The effort you are putting into trying to revive the relationship might also influence your partner into joining you in the long run.
Remember, therapy is not something you force your partner into doing. See if they can compromise and attend a few sessions, if not, you can try other alternatives like exercise, self-help books and workshops. If and when they do agree to try couples counseling, do your research on the best therapists and seek their services.
TheJMore Counseling and Consulting provides virtual counseling services and specializes in working with individuals dealing with trauma, anxiety, depression, life transitions, relationship issues, and stress management. If you would like to move forward with scheduling an appointment, click here.