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5 Effective Ways of Setting Healthy Boundaries For Yourself



Boundaries are sets of life rules or value an individual believes in. Setting boundaries helps you be responsible for your well-being. To set healthy boundaries for yourself, chances are that you are emotionally intelligent, you have respect for yourself, and you want others to respect you.


People with healthy boundaries know when to draw the line. If a close friend says something offensive, healthy boundary-setters know how to handle the situation. In setting boundaries, you have to learn to say “no” sometimes. Saying “no” does not mean you are a bad person; it means you do not want to participate in the activities because they are against your values.


Do you know that if you set healthy boundaries, you might lose some friends and gain new ones? Friendships you gain by setting healthy boundaries will last a long time; also, such friends will have healthy boundaries for themselves and respect yours as well.


How Healthy Boundaries Benefit Our Mental Health

Healthy boundaries are key to mental well-being. If you can set boundaries, you will be able to control your emotions, environment, habits, and behaviours. Your response if someone crosses the line shows you have control of your emotions.

There are benefits to setting healthy boundaries, and they include:

  • Improved communication: Healthy boundaries make you great at expressing yourself. This is because you have great knowledge of yourself and what makes you uncomfortable, and you want to be expressive in a good way. You get to communicate with yourself better and understand your self-concept.

  • Control over your well-being: You can gain control over your well-being by setting healthy boundaries. You will know when your emotions are running high if someone else says something bad too, and you will always have the right way to manage the situation.

  • Physically fit: Setting healthy boundaries is not just limited to people. You also have to set boundaries on what you eat. Eating healthy will help you stay physically fit.

  • Strengthen relationships: People think that setting boundaries will chase away your friends. Well, that is not exactly the case; healthy boundaries will keep your friends and make them understand you better. You just have to be polite and gently introduce them to the boundaries.

  • Improves self-esteem: Your confidence increases when you start setting healthy boundaries. There is this aura around you when you notice you have made the best decision on how to make your life better.

  • Independence: You get to think for yourself and how to manage the challenges you will face. This will make you independent and responsible.

  • Manage stress: Stress is a mental challenge we face every time. Healthy boundaries help us pinpoint our stress triggers and look for ways to manage them.

  • Conflict management: You will be able to use empathy and wisdom to manage conflict. Because you have a clear understanding of yourself, your boundaries, and also the other person.

  • Anger management: Your “yes” or “no” response helps you manage your anger or resentment. For instance, if your friends invite you for a drink when you have some work to finish, and your boss is angry with you because you did not meet the deadline to submit your work, chances are, you will be angry with yourself. But setting boundaries can help you avoid anger.

It is important to note that healthy boundaries are contagious; they can influence those around them to set them.


Types Of Healthy Boundaries That You Need

If you have been reading through, then you will discover, we all need boundaries in our lives. To be a mature human being, you need to set boundaries that will help you improve your life. Having challenges with coping in life requires boundaries and different types of healthy boundaries help in solving different life challenges like relationships, work, school, and yourself.

Here are the different types of healthy boundaries you need to set for yourself:

  • Emotional healthy boundaries: This is first on the list because people lose themselves when there are no emotional boundaries. Your thoughts beget your actions, if you do not set standards for how you think and how to react to your feelings, you will not be in a place of calmness to make healthy decisions.

  • Physical healthy boundaries: You have the right to protect your physical needs like rest, eating, privacy, etc. Physically healthy boundaries tell others that your space and your body belong to you and that you are responsible for them. If someone reads your private diary, you will need to address it immediately because it is not for public consumption.

  • Sexual healthy boundaries: Both men and women need to establish healthy sexual boundaries. You should not be cajoled into having sex with the opposite gender against your will. Avoid dirty talk if you feel uncomfortable with it, and either leave the place or politely change the subject if you feel uncomfortable.

  • Financial healthy boundaries: This is very important, as some people spend lavishly when they should be saving and investing. Financial healthy boundaries do not involve borrowing huge amounts of money from a friend who does not know how to repay it. It also sets an amount that will be spent weekly or monthly.

  • Religious boundaries: Healthy religious boundaries can be established by excusing yourself from a gathering to go and pray. You have the right to believe in anything, but you do not have the right to force others to acknowledge your beliefs or what you believe in.

Setting these healthy boundaries gives you respect and improves your standard of living. Healthy boundaries will not be complete if you do not have respect for other people's boundaries.


How To Set Healthy Boundaries

There are two types of boundaries. There are unhealthy boundaries and healthy boundaries. This article there have been highlighted the benefit of healthy boundaries and how important it is. Unhealthy boundaries make you feel disturbed and make you a shadow of yourself. You need to imbibe healthy boundaries in your daily activities so that you can make informed decisions.

Here are ways to help you set a healthy, happy boundary:

  • Take your time in setting healthy boundaries and watch them become part of you

  • Talk calmly to people about what you like and what you do not like

  • Do not cross your boundaries because people will disrespect you

  • Believe in your set boundaries no matter what

  • Pick one healthy boundary at a time and work on it

  • Always keep your emotions out of setting boundaries. For instance, be careful of the boundaries you set when you are angry or happy.

  • Be realistic about the type of healthy boundary you want to set. Know your weaknesses and strengths before setting boundaries.

  • If you break your boundaries, do not worry, it is never an easy task in the first place

Setting healthy boundaries is not an easy task, it is like developing a new habit. It takes time to become part of you. So you will need consistency in making sure your set boundaries are consistently practised. Never be afraid to tell someone what you like and do not like.


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